To focus on lasting longer, we really need to look at a bigger perspective. So that would involve seeing that sexual energy is our life force energy.
You know, it’s not just a stress release thing, you know, when we have sex with our partner. There is a much bigger perspective.
So it’s the same energy that makes everything possible that’s in existence, from the sun and the planets and the oceans to human beings and the plants and the animals; the driving force is our sexual energy. So that in a way is our will to live.
And so the birthright of every human being is to fully experience their infinite capacity for pleasure, for orgasm and for intimacy. And so number one, most people don’t realize that your sexual energy is for your health.
Your health physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. So when a man learns how to increase his capacity to first of all experience pleasure by lasting longer, they’re able to experience longer periods of arousal and his sex life has a totally different quality.
So rather than just being a stress release mechanism, it can become a rich, fulfilling experience for a man, and for his partner, of course.
Que:why do men experience premature ejaculation?
Ans: I would say the number one reason that men experience it is anxiety of, “Oh my god, it’s gonna happen again,” or simply being totally back in the past and stressed out and in a state of tension because that is what happens near pretty much all of the time or all of the time.
And so in a way the cause of premature ejaculation, or why men experience it, is psychological. It’s to do with the way that they’re thinking, rather than being present in their body.
And I’d actually like to define what premature ejaculation is, because a lot of men ask me, “Well, my natural sexual response, you know, I seem to come very very quickly. Is that normal? How long should it be?”
And so really the definition of premature ejaculation is an inability to delay ejaculation to the point where it’s mutually desirable for both partners.
And so you see the definition is quite subjective. So you can’t put, you know, a timed thing on what premature ejaculation is. The crucial thing is that if a man and his partner is satisfied with their sexual interaction or not.
The psychological causes of why a man might experience that, let’s look first of all at anxiety and concern, usually about sexual performance.
So a man might have incredible anxiety about pleasing his partner, he might have so much tension in his body that he’s not even really aware of the sensations in his body.
So that seems to be one of the key things that happens for a man who’s experiencing sex like this.
Que: Is there anything that a man can do to change all of this?
Ans: There is a lot that a man can do to change this, and really the basis of what I’ve found that works over and over again for a man is to be able to experience more relaxation.
Simple relaxation and letting go of any kind of outcome or specific outcome of what it should look like and what’s meant to happen and how long he’s meant to last for.
And so there are two key pieces, but also when you look at the bigger perspective again, if a man can reframe sex as a natural healing act, that can change his entire outlook on letting go of the performance and what it should look like.
Then another key piece is actually educating himself about his body first of all, and then obviously about his partner’s.
But the more that a man learns about his own physical body and his own sexual response as intimately as he can, then he’s naturally going to have a lot more confidence in how he has his sex life.